Amy Webb, head of a Digital Strategy house, told of how she ‘hacked’ online dating in a TED talk last year and it’s really worth checking out…

Being an online dating virgin, Amy’s first attempt was entirely unsuccessful; she was attracting the wrong kinds of men and going on some truly terrible dates. So putting into practise her data expertise she decided to form her own algorithm applied to her chosen online dating website, in an attempt to find ‘the one.’

There’s been lots of criticism over how she did this (collecting data from member’s profiles), however the underlying message can’t be argued with. Amy Webb was clever about online dating. She found out what sort of profiles her ‘ideal man’ was attracted to, and used that formula to mould her own. She proves that we can be a lot more in control of our dating lives than we think.

Listen to the talk and leave your comments below…

P.S If the video isn't loading, Click Here

online dating TED talk

09:07

Apparently the average cost of a date is £206.87 (when you take in to account outfit, travel, hair & make-up etc.)  That’s a lot of money. Especially if you’re an online dating enthusiast and have numerous dates every month. But there are ways to date on a budget and still have just as nice a time! So get creative and put that wallet/purse away – we’ve got some lovely little date ideas for you that won’t take you even further into that overdraft.

1) Indoor Picnic & Board Games

Light a few candles and lay a blanket down on the floor. Get your Spotify playlist on the go and lay out some cheap nibbles (your date will be so bowled over by the romance that they won’t realise they’re eating chicken nuggets and smiley faces). And for the evening’s activity; scrabble.

2) Get Outdoors!

Walking doesn’t cost a penny. Get online and look up a country walk in your local area. Wandering through the countryside provides a great opportunity to get to know your date away from distractions. And after all of those endorphins from the (gentle) exercise you’ll both be in such a good mood that you’ll forget all about money woes.

 

3) Bargain Hunt!

Visit a garage sale and play your very own version of Bargain Hunt! Extra bonus points for finding a piece of furniture that you guys can do-up together. A little project like that is really fun way of bonding and will provide you will lots to do without the price tag!

4) Moonlight Romance

Do you remember when Ross took Rachel to the Planetarium? VERY romantic. Well get yourself outdoors and experience the real thing. Snuggle up under a blanket and pack a flask of hot chocolate; spend the evening gazing at the stars and trying to figure out the constellations.

5) Free Cultural Activities

We live in a wonderful country where most museums and art galleries are free to the public. Make the most out of this! You can spend hours looking around these spaces and talking about the displays. It’s a nice first date idea too – taking the pressure off conversation and ensuring no awkward silences. Just pretend you’re deep in thought!
 6) A Bubble Bath
Perhaps not a first date option, but if you’ve been dating for a while a bubble bath is a lovely way to spend the evening. Lots of candles, a bottle of wine (of the discounted variety) and a vat load of bubbles. It’s super relaxing and intimate, so good it should be made a weekly deal!

7) Check out the Local Music Scene

There are hundreds of local bands out there looking for an audience! So much so that often their gigs are either free or insanely cheap to get into. Ok there’s a chance that it will be bloody awful, but you also might stumble across an absolute gem of a band. Either way you and your date will have plenty to talk about!

8) At Home Cinema Experience

Choose your favourite film and get cosy! For the full on experience try making your own Popcorn and a few little snacks for the evening’s entertainment. Keep it personal and choose a film that means a lot to you, so that way the date’s not just about watching a film but also about learning a little more about each other.

9) Pool & Darts

Ah the wonders of the local pub. Beer and inexpensive activities. Find out about your date’s competitive side and challenge them to a game of Pool & Darts over a pint or two.

10) Bake a Cake

With GBBO just around the corner, it’s time to start practising your baking skills. Get your date involved and enjoy a few hours of domesticity putting together your Showstopper.

Flirtify – Let’s Get Together

budget dating advice

09:10

According to a YouGov survey conducted in 2011, 62% of 25 – 39 year olds think that it’s ok to date someone 10 years their senior, however this percentage drops down to 15% when asked about a 20 year age gap.

So is age just a number? Can a couple with 10 or even 20 years between them really work? Well if Catherine Zeta Jones and Michael Douglas (25 years her senior) are anything to go by, yes they absolutely can. Equally, Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart (22 years his junior) appear to be going strong. But then, being married to Indiana Jones must be pretty damn cool – even if he is getting on a bit… 

PROs

1) The likelihood is, an older lady or gentleman will ‘have their shit together.’ i.e., you can spend Sunday mornings in a beautifully decorated kitchen sipping coffee fresh out of their espresso machine. As opposed to eating coco pops out of a mug surrounded by numerous housemates. Ok, so that’s a stereotype and a massive generalisation but one of the perks of dating someone older must be the benefits of a more comfortable lifestyle.

2) Perhaps more important than nice red wine and oh-so-fluffy dressing gowns is their emotional maturity. If your date has had previous long term relationships they're bound to be a bit more mature when it comes to relationship issues. They know what works and what doesn’t – no game playing.

3) And finally, the stability. Freud might have something to say about it, but dating someone 10 to 20 years your senior comes with a sense of commitment, they appear to be solid and someone to be trusted. They’re probably not going to get wasted on Jeagur and wake-up in a stranger’s bed. Well, we’d assume.

CONs

1) You’re both at different ‘life stages.’ Perhaps your partner is ready to settle down, get married and have kids, but you’re still quite happy enjoying your youth. This has to be the biggest issue, although it’s an issue in all relationships. If you’re not on the same page long-term then you’ll come across some difficulties in the future.

2) Introducing them to the parents. Just weird.

Ultimately, like the other 62% we agree that age is just a number. If you’re (excuse the cliché) ‘in love’, then who’s to say you shouldn’t be together. There’s a chance it won’t work out but that’s the case with every relationship, 20 year age gap or not. And hey, Brad Pitt’s 52….so point proven…

What do you think?

Flirtify - Let's Get Together

 

age-gap dating advice

09:10

Bristol is a hub of music and culture, there is so much to see and do that choosing that perfect date venue can be a little overwhelming. But never fear we’re here to help! We’ve listed our favourite date venues in the city...

The Watershed

Classic cinema date at The Watershed, a beautiful cross-art form venue. With 3 screens showing mainly art house films, it’s perfect for film lovers looking for an alternative to the bigger chain cinemas. It also has a lively café/bar area where locally sourced food is served up.

Catch a film and follow up with a glass of wine overlooking the Harbourside. 

Brunel’s SS Great Britain

Not your typically romantic date venue, but stepping back in time on board the Brunel’s SS Great Britain is a wonderful experience and will provide plenty of conversation! Experience the sights, sounds and smells of life on board for Victorian passengers and crew and descend under water below the glass  ‘sea'; to touch the world’s first great ocean liner.

A great showcase of British Industrial History!

A Pint (or two) at the Grain Barge

After the above educational activity, stroll towards the Grain Barge – a converted barge moored in the Bristol Harbour. Owned and supplied by the award winning Bristol Beer Factory brewery, they serve up a variety of local craft beers as well as a select few from Devon and Cornwall. Head to top deck to enjoy your pint with some spectacular panoramic views.

Bristol Zoo Gardens

Love visiting the zoo as a kid? It’s totally acceptable to have a Zoo Date, wandering around Bristol Zoo’s 12 acre gardens and visiting the 400 species of animals is a lovely way to spend your day. Don’t forget to visit the gift shop too for that little memento of your date (cuddly meerkats, fridge magnets etc…)

Breakfast at The Lockside Restaurant

A waterfront café, Lockside Restaurant serves up one of the best breakfasts in the city! With views of the Clifton Suspension Bridge, it’s a lovely friendly (and relaxed) atmosphere, perfect for a breakfast date. We love the Lockside Classics, particularly their smoked salmon with poached eggs and bubble & squeak – yum! And hey, be a bit cheeky and wash your breakfast down with a glass of Bucks Fizz – it is a date after all.

Day Trip to Steep Holm Island

A little bit out of the way, but if you’ve got a day date and some time to spare, book yourselves onto a trip to Steep Holm Island. This privately owned island sits in the Bristol Channel about 5 miles off-shore from Weston-Super-Mare. The beautiful surrounding nature in this isolated haven is romance at its best. It’s also home to the remains of a 12^th century Augustinian Priory for those of us that enjoy a little history time!

Cocktails at The Milk Thistle

“We pride ourselves on being purveyors of the finest cocktails in the city…”

Housed in one of Bristol’s finest historic buildings, the atmosphere at The Milk Thistle is just as intoxicating as the cocktails they serve up. We’d recommend the Milk Thistle Daisy; a mix of Tanqueray Export Gin, Lemon Juice, and Spiced Pear Syrup, royally topped with Fizz. The ultimate in cocktail indulgence.

For a decadent experience in Bristol’s best kept secret, it has to be The Milk Thistle…

Dinner at Flinty Red

And finally, keep it simple with an elegant dinner date at Flinty Reds. This wine tasting and award winning restaurant, change their menu daily and have a large selection of wine by the glass and carafe. They take their food and wine VERY seriously, so expect a full on dining experience, perfect for that special date.

So now you know where to go, head to Flirtify and find your date!

bristol dating advice dating venues

09:08

Guest Blogger: Katy Miller

Online dating sites work by algorithm. Developed over the decades, the algorithm takes the information you have provided (hobbies, music tastes, turn-ons etc.) and uses clever mathematical ways to pull up your closest matches. Ok, so it’s not Hollywood romance, ‘love at first sight,’ but it makes sense that in this ever expanding digital world where we can now connect with literally millions of people, that we’d need a ‘digital friendly’ way of finding love. Algorithms offer a quick way to narrow down your options and give you the best chance to find someone you might like.

But once you’ve found that person online and you’ve dated for a while – do our own inner algorithms stop working? Are we constantly assessing our partner and seeing how they match up to our ideals? This thought had not crossed my mind until over the weekend, when my Boyfriend (who I met online), thought it would be fun to do a ‘compatibility test’. Its idea was to see if you followed the same sorts of relationship ethics and overall make you question how well you work together as a pair.

Was It Useful?

Some questions were; they made us think about some really nice parts of our relationship…

What is the most special memory of us that you hold?

How would you want to spend a special day with each other? (We went for a day at the seaside…)

Questions like this were really positive and made us feel pretty smug! But then it got a bit more delving and asked questions that I had never even considered…

If he/she cheated on you, could you ever forgive?

What do you define as cheating?

And this made us have that conversation, which then felt very much like laying down the rules. Flirting’s ok, as long as it’s without intention, anything physical is not ok. But could we forgive? Maybe, if we had children further down the line …. What?! Why are we talking about children!

And then came even MORE serious questions...

How should finances be planned between a couple? (umm I’ll buy the cake??)

Would you lie to make your partner happy and where would you draw the line?

And before we knew it we were having a full blown conversation about future bank accounts, how many children we want, whether we think we’d be good parents and so on. So what started as a fun little quiz ended up in a sort of 6 month review of where we’re at and where we’re going. Wow.

Should Every Couple Do It?

Couples who meet online tend to be more open about questions like this, because in a sense they’ve already answered them when initially starting their search. It was good for us to do because the ultimate outcome was that we both have the same ‘relationship ethics’ and are on the same page when it comes to ‘the future.’

This isn’t something to do in the first couple of months of a blossoming relationship; but I will say this...it’s important to make sure that your ideas and views on relationships are similar. Hopefully, through online dating those requirements will already have been met by those clever little algorithms, but it might be worth having a sit down and thinking about these questions together before you become 'facebook official'…

For the full test, click here >>

compatibility dating advice

12:02

After scanning through a load of Flirtify members on the Encounters game, you've found a match and exchanged a few messages (getting butterflies every time they reply... eek!)

Everything's going really well so it's time to meet in the flesh so to speak... it's important to check if their as charming in real life as their coming across online and on text.

It's all well and good having fun online but the real test is feeling sexual chemistry when you meet in person. Otherwise you've just found yourself another friend ( not why you're paying to use a dating site)so get out there and meet up for real.

They'll be loads of decisions and scenarios going through your mind at this point like; panicking where to meet up; is it dull suggesting the cinema? is that pub in town posh enough? Manically chatting to yourself not to mention the ex too much and to avoid the urge to ask how many sexual partners they've had.


Let's not forget that for the lads there's also the extra decision to make. Should they give their date a lovely bunch of flowers or not? Decisions.

So when do you thinks the right time to give flowers to your date?

• First? 
• Second? 
• Third? 
• Is it only relevant on special occasions?
• or is it just an old fashioned thing that the older generation of guys like your dad feel obliged to do?
• Also can women give flowers to their dates as well? Lads - how would you feel about that? embarrassed or secretly flattered? hmmm it's a toughie.

There's so many questions but one things for sure you'll never get bored whilst you're looking for love. With a barrage of emotions to go through daily hourly, new people to meet and experiences to share - Enjoy it!

Flirtify - Let's get together!

15:43

Whether it's your first holiday without your parents at the tender age of 18, or if you go away with a big group of mates every year... somethings never change:

Sun, Sex, Booze & Partying all day/night long are on the agenda!  

Seriously though think about it for a second. When is it ever attractive wearing a custom made t-shirt with your nickname (often sexual) printed on the back? And if you're lucky enough to find someone who looks cute, in order to approach them you've got to battle through their often loud friends to speak to them. Quite an intimidating process for shy singles!

On the other hand, it's just a laugh right? And if you're wearing a 'Stags on Tour 2014' t-shirt it's a nice ice breaker to grab your best partner in crime and go and introduce yourself to another group.

So the question we want to know is this, Can large all male/female groups on a night out ever find the one? Or is a quick fumble behind the kebab shop the most romantic thing to expect?

What do you think?

Flirtify - Let's Get Together

11:33

As a free member of Flirtify the first thing to do is create your profile page. This is your first opportunity to highlight what a catch you are! It's a bit like a CV but less formal and without any professional qualifications.

Make sure you use a flattering photo of yourself, where you're smiling. Here's an example of what not to use...(wearing a midge net & unflattering waterproofs, nice!)

Next it's the fun part where you can start searching for potential dates; adding anyone that catches your eye onto your favourite's list.

Be playful and send winks to grab attention of anyone you like the look of, (there's an unlimited supply of winks available).

You'll receive an email if someone adds you as one of their favourites, winks at you, or sends you a message.

Hopefully you'll be spoilt for choice...

So head on over to Flirtify and make someone's day with a cheeky little wink or two!

12:37

1. In your twenties, you’ll play the ‘It’s over’ card A LOT just to get attention of your other half begging for you back and to enjoy the make-up sex.
In your thirties, when you say ‘it’s over’ you mean it.

2. In your twenties, you’ll get to know each other over messenger and sexting.
In your thirties, you’ll get to know each other through work, mutual friends or just good old fashioned email and phone calls.

3. In your twenties meeting your dates parents are terrifying experiences not that dissimilar to job interviews.
Meeting the parents in your thirties involves awkward or suspicious questions surrounding your past.

4. In your twenties you’ll pick the main meal and wine based on how cheap it is.
You’ll spend hours in the kitchen following your favourite TV chefs cook book ( which you’ll own many ) and buy the most expensive wine you can (still at a discount,) in your thirties.

5. Twentysomethings idea of a romantic weekend will involve a cheap bus trip to Paris and a Youth Hostel
In your thirties Paris will have too many bad memories of dodgy ex’s so you’ll settle for a B&B in the countryside somewhere and visit a grand stately house.

Let us know what you think the main differences between relationships in your 20s and 30s are.

12:45

We want to keep you in the loop and let you know as soon as you receive messages, winks and profile views – because a flirty message brightens up anyone’s day!

But if your inbox is getting full to the brim, then you can manage your email notifications. Just head to ‘My Account’ and the ‘Notifications’ tab and then tick or un-tick the events you want to be notified of.

Simple.

Happy Dating! X

Settings updates

09:26

Meeting someone offline for the first time is an incredibly nerve-wracking experience; forget interview nerves, public speaking anxieties and exam worries – this a whole new kettle of fish. For two reasons; there’s always the worry that your date isn’t who they say they are (we’ve all seen Catfish, right?) and the second reason…we’re about to spend a couple of hours being judged on our personality and appearance…ouch.

So why the hell do we do it? As well as being a little bit terrifying, first dates can also be really, really fun. You’re about to meet a whole new person and the positive possibilities that could happen are endless. So let us help you calm those nerves and get prepared for what might be quite a wonderful time…

Quick Tips

Listen as Much as You Talk
Conversations are a two way thing; you might pride yourself in being socially brilliant due to your ability to talk and talk and talk, but on a date be wary…

There should be an equal exchange between the two of you, like a tennis match. Let the conversation go back and forth – and listen with genuine interest.

Don’t Reveal Too Much Too Soon
Should the date go well, you’ll have a lot of time to discover more about the other person; peel the onion as they say (don’t rip it apart with your bare hands). First dates are for interesting and intriguing conversation – you don’t need to learn everything about their past, their future and their bathroom habits in that first meeting.

Ask Questions!
If the conversation ever lulls, a sure way to fire it up again is with thought-provoking questions. Topics that will encourage further discussion are the winners here, so ask a few nice little questions..

• What's your favourite place in the world?
• What's your favourite movie of all time?
• Do you have Netflix? (….roll on a two hour discussion about how JUST.AMAZING Breaking Bad and House of Cards are...)

img src:The Best 27 Memes of Breaking Bad (Buzzfeed)

Topic to Steer Clear Of and their Better Halves

1) Bad Topic: Politics
Don’t talk too deeply about politics, it can be a sensitive subject for some and an argument on the first date is definitely not ideal.

Good Topic: The News
Talk about what’s in the papers. Current affairs are relevant to everyone and could promote some interesting and thoughtful conversation.

2) Bad Topic: Previous Relationships
Your date wants to learn about you, not about your ex-boyfriend / girlfriend. The first date is not the time to reveal deep info about your relationship history.

Good Topic: Relationships in general
Some people might disagree, but there’s no reason why you can’t have a light-hearted conversation about what you think are important things in a relationship. And this is also a good time to discover (subtly) whether your date is looking for a casual or a more long-term thing.

3) Bad Topic: Negativity
Ok, not so much a topic but too many, ‘I hate this….that’s horrible….this is rubbish’ will make your date think you’re a little bit miserable.

Good Topic: Positivity!
Talk about your hobbies and interests, being passionate about something is an attractive quality.

We hope you found these little tips useful – but the most important thing is to relax and be the best version of you. Your first date happened because you both liked each other online and wanted to find out more – so you're already off to a great start.

And if you’re REALLY nervous, just copy Bruce’s trick…

 

So now you know how to rock that first date, head on over to Flirtify and get one set up!

dating advice first date online dating

11:22