After a healthy debate here at Flirtify, we’ve decided to let science answer the question once and for all… can heterosexual men and women really ever be “just friends”?

But before we jump into the science, let’s start with the public perceptions...
A recent survey asked 1,450 members of dating sites this very question. A huge 83% of those surveyed believe men and women can be platonic friends, while 11% disagreed and 6% weren’t sure. 

That said, 62% of respondents admitted they’d been in a “platonic” friendship that turned romantic or sexual and 71% said they hoped a hypothetical future romantic partner would be their friend first.

More… some men admitted they aren’t against striking up or keeping opposite-sex friendships in hope of having sex and are more likely to prioritize physical attractiveness in their female friends AKA the more attractive the woman the higher up the guys friends list.
Men also it seems are more attracted to their female friends than the female friends are to them too, regardless of either party’s relationship status (queue the jealousy!)
 
Public perception echoes the science
The same survey reported 67% of respondents said women are better at keeping sex out of a platonic relationship.
But despite either party’s best efforts, sex in supposedly “platonic” male-female relationships does happen. Another study by Leeds University found around half the heterosexual student population has engaged in sex in an otherwise platonic friendship. 

But, the majority of these friends-with-benefit situations don’t transition into a romantic relationship, suggesting perhaps people prefer the friendship over the sex (or at least over any romance)?

Sex changes things 
Even if friends remain friends (instead of romantic partners) after doin’ the deed, sex definitely changes things.
Friends who’ve hooked up are more likely to flirt with each other and communicate about their relationship, while friends who desire each other romantically spend more time together, provide a shoulder to cry on and talk less about relationships outside of their friendship. 

But… platonic love does exist. There are various reasons for keeping a relationship platonic, most commonly a lack of physical attraction, fear of disapproval from friends or family, third party involvement (i.e. a boyfriend or girlfriend), and not wanting to disrupt a happy relationship. 

The takeaway
The truth is friendship in general is still poorly understood

We don’t really have the language to discuss the different forms and this complicates the ways we’re able to think and talk about the subject. Heterosexual men and women can be friends, and these friendships can be good for all involved. 
 
Although these relationships are more likely it seems to involve some sort of sexual tension it’s up to both parties to decide whether they’ll maintain the status quo or open themselves up to the possibilities of more. 

And even if friends have sex, that doesn’t mean they aren’t friends. Perhaps “sex” and “friendship” aren’t always mutually exclusive; we might just need new words to describe them.

Let us know what you thinkcan men and women ever just be friends?

When model Challis Orme met Brent Zillwood on a blind date you wouldn't be alone in thinking it wouldn't last.

Every girl enjoys a compliment, but she was in for a shock... “S**t head!” “B***h!” and “F**k you, man”, exclaimed Brent as they sat in a bar during their first date. Most girls would have gone for their coat, but Challis knew from Brent’s online dating profile that he suffered from Tourette’s Syndrome.

These expletives wouldn't stop her seeing Brent for the man he was and just one year on from that very date, Challis heard two very different words from 23 year old Brent; “I do”.

The Tourette's sufferer and model became inseparable after meeting and decided to elope to Las Vegas where they were married just before Christmas. They became the first wedding to come out of TV show, The Undateables - which follows people with disabilities looking for love.

Challis was never fazed by Brent’s Tourette’s. She explained in a recent interview; “I didn’t know much about it and it was a bit shocking at first but once he explained it to me I realised there was nothing he could do about it."

If you're already a fan of the show you'll know that there have been some incredibly heart-warming moments. Film maker Brent decided to give the show a try in hope of finding someone who could accept his disorder, which makes him uncontrollably swear and twitch. He said he can still hardly believe how his dreams have come true.

Brent said; “I thought I’d be searching for the one for quite a long time. And when I first saw Challis I thought she was out of my league. On our first date I was terrified, but she wanted to be with me."

“I loved the fact she enjoyed the whole Tourette’s thing which means I can let it out. If I did twitch she just laughed and it kind of worked for me this time. She’s someone who I can say ­absolutely anything out loud to and it will go over her head. So my Tourette’s is less worked up."

Great news after millions watched his search for romance get off to a rocky start with bartender Lizzie, their interests quickly fizzled out and Brent returned to the show determined the right person was out there.

We're so glad he did! Congratulations to the happy couple!

Start your story here with Flirtify



Ever heard the expression ‘opposites attract’?

You'll have seen it before in many a movie, or read it in the pages of a book; boy meets girl from a wildly different background, girl can't stand boy, mischief follows, then the two ride, drive or fly off into the sunset to live happily ever after? Yes? 













Well, it turns out maybe not... 

We’re asking when it comes to love, how much do we really like to venture out of our comfort zone, and are opposites truly drawn to each other? 

A recent study took into account 102 characteristics from race and height to education and hobbies - even individuals tendency to be apologetic.

The study looked at peoples online profiles and their list of criteria when looking for a potential love interest and discovered that in every instance women preferred men who were similar to them
 
The study went on to look at couples - 15,298 couples to be exact who have children. In a huge 97% there were similar traits between each partner — suggesting that people who liked pets for example, tended to partner up with other pet lovers and people who liked biking would naturally get on better and form lasting relationships with those who liked biking.

Although we love a good love story against the odds we'll take any insight we can get that helps us understand what we’re actually looking for in a date.

So, what does this mean for our all important criteria?

We may think we want a partner that pushes our boundaries but maybe instead of being swept away, we should start with a look at ourselves when we're looking for love..

Meet someone to take off into the sunset with at Flirtify today.



Guest blogger: Sarah Morrell 

Facebook has become a real ‘step’ for any relationship 

Its holds some pretty juicy information — from a love interest’s favourite band to photos of a romantic outing with an ex., Facebook has become a modern day background check for any prospective love interest. So when is the right time to click that seemingly harmless ‘add friend’ button? 

The truth is there is no conclusive etiquette on when to send a friend request… some prefer to connect after they’ve gotten to know him or her, some prefer to connect right away.  

A recent survey revealed 66% of us have stalked someone on Facebook before meeting him or her in person.  

As daft as it may sound… Facebook has become a real step. Yep, this is dating in a modern connected world. Even talking on the phone as opposed to texting is now considered a step. 

So when is it OK to send someone a friends request....?

After multiple dates - 26.9%
Before your first date - 26.6%
After your first date - 21%
Not until they send you a friends request - 13%
When you decide you're an item -12.5%

Here is how to tip-toe around this strangely sensitive issue and the reasoning behind it… 

The virtual ‘Hello’… to everyone! 
For the sake of argument, let’s say you’ve been on two or three dates and you have every intention of seeing them again, you like them and you can see it possibly going somewhere. Would now be the time to introduce this person to ALL of your friends? Your family? Your exes? No - but that’s basically what Facebook is, isn’t it?

If they send you a friend request?
While Facebook is fine for casual acquaintances, it’s a little uncomfortable for a casual date or two. So, what if the person you’re maybe, sort of seeing sends you a friend request? Now you feel it would be rude to just ignore it without any kind of explanation as to why yes?

This is dangerous territory, these conversations are difficult to navigate even when they happen at the appropriate time in the relationship, never mind weeks to months early.
You didn’t cause this situation - they did. It is therefore completely OK to ignore their friend request. If you decide, a few dates down the road that you really do like them, you can go ahead and hit the ‘accept’ button. 

Should they ask you why you haven’t accepted sooner you could simply say: “We’re just getting to know each other” or the old “ Oh, have you?”

Friends first – that’s interesting
If you meet someone at a party and hit it off but didn’t exchange contact information then go ahead and find them on Facebook – just be sure to send them a message along with a your friends request, otherwise you could find it going nowhere and they'll turn into another casual acquaintance.

All I'm saying is don't rush to give yourself away by taking this step, keep a little mystery.

One step at a time - join Flirtify today!

   
Would you turn down or cancel a first date because of what you saw on Facebook?
 
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We've all encountered a situation where the person you're talking to whips out his or her phone, clearly showing disinterest in the conversation. 

So in a time when we are more connected than ever, a question begs to be answered; 'Is it OK to check your phone on a date?'

WELL, a recent survey which questioned young singles on what they thought, revealed a unanimous 75% of women consider this a ‘deal breaker’, and wouldn’t accept the invitation of a second date because of it!

We get it - having a date spend more time playing Candy Crush Saga than looking lovingly into your eyes and hanging on every word is going to cause problems.

What else...?

The study also revealed that on a first date 37.1% of singles will check their phone if their date has left the room (I'll admit, I'm guilty of doing the old phone check when my boyfriends nipped to the loo, but I feel that's fine because he isn’t there?)

Combine this with those who say you should never check your phone on a first date (27.2%) and those who say only in emergencies (23.4%). This adds up to a notable 50.6% in comparison to only 12.3 percent who said it was cool to check their phone anytime!

More...

How do you know if you like someone if you’re not paying attention? When you meet someone new you want to make a good first impression. Picture you’re out with someone you really like and every time they get a text, they look at their phone. Would you think they’re into you or that they’d rather be somewhere else?
 
Paying too much attention (or any attention) to your phone while on a date could signal to your date that your priorities are somewhere else. 

Our advice...

Ditch your phone for a night. Who knows - the best of what happens online i.e. meeting the person across from you may lead to amazing things off line. Besides we’re sure those snapchats of your friends dinner will wait.

Tell us what you think…

Is it OK to check your phone on a date?



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Technology doesn't have to be the enemy – meet someone worth leaving your phone for with Flirtify now.