How Do You Let A Date Down Gently?

Telling someone that you don’t see a romantic future with them is tough. It tends to be around that 3^rd date when you know if the ‘dating’ has the potential to turn into a ‘relationship,’ and if it doesn’t you’re faced with a pretty awkward conversation.

Plenty of people just bail out and don’t reply to texts or calls hoping that their date will get the message – but this is just not nice. Don’t do it. We’ve asked around the Flirtify office and everyone here think’s it’s far better to be upfront and honest.

So how exactly do you do that?

Firstly….are you sure?

If there is the slightest bit of potential, give them one more chance. The first few dates with someone new can be really nerve-wracking, and it can be difficult to be the best version of ‘you’ when you’re so nervous that you’ve forgotten how to string together a coherent sentence. So give your date a break – once they’ve relaxed a little and let those pesky barriers down, they could be great!

But, if you’re absolutely sure then don’t put it off – the ‘phase’ out doesn’t work and neither does the ‘avoidance’ tactic. Telling someone you’re not interested is NEVER going to be easy but there are ways that can make it easier…

Be Tactful

Don’t get personal on them, reasons like ‘you’re just not my type,’ can come across as offensive. It’s basically you saying, ‘You’re not attractive,’ which no one wants to hear. Approach the matter with a sense of maturity and coat it with a compliment, it’s difficult to argue with that. Something like, ‘I’ve really enjoyed hanging out with you, but I don’t see anything romantic happening between us,’ might just do the trick.

Don’t Be Vague

Make it obvious that you’re not going to change your mind. Saying vague stuff like, ‘I’m not ready for a relationship yet,’ will lead someone to think that if they stick around you might end up together at some stage.

Avoid the Clichés

Clichés just make everyone feel bad; ‘it’s not you it’s me,’ or ‘I want to focus on my career.’ No.

Remember, you’re not married and you’ve only been on a few dates. We promise that their world won’t come crashing down around them as soon as you say the ‘I’m not interested’ words. So don’t feel too bad about it; if you’re polite and honest, then you’ve done the right thing with grace and dignity to both parties!

If it hasn’t worked out then don’t resign yourself to a life of being the ‘third wheel,’ ‘gooseberry,’ ‘lemon’ or ‘cat lady.’ Just get back out there – there are hundreds of thousands of people looking for love, your guy or girl is out there somewhere!

Where can you start looking? Head on over to Flirtify>>